I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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