I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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