She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
