break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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