is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am one with the molecules
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
