Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
