Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
