Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
