we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
handjob tips. give me some.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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