Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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