Small penises have feelings too.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
