I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How external is "for external use only"?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
