i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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