everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
