Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
