How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
