Just fell off a train. Bad.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
