Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
