none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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