The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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