I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
