If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
