yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
organizing the empties. That sober.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
