So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
