yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
