so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
