I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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