White coat. Heels.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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