I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
