That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
