i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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