he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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