Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
