last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
