Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
