If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
