she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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