we're blogging at a bar
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
