Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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