You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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