whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
