i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize