WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
