I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
