Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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