just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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