There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
