I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can text with my tongue
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
