everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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