today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
