1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
