well I can't set my house on fire every night
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You have to summon your inner elephant
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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