It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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